I’ve never really been a planner. Despite my Virgo zodiac insisting it’s in my nature, I could never grasp the concept. My mind works better in the present moment. Over the years I’ve gotten better at letting go of my expected outcome. It takes a lot of work get to a point where you can completely surrender to God’s will and let things work out as they will. I’m still not completely there, and pretty sure I’ll never fully get there — but it’s life changing to try.
For the past few weeks, I’ve been whining to Jordan that I wanted to start a book club. I didn’t think much further than that. What books would we read? Where would I host it? Did I even know how a book club worked? I honestly did not have the answers. I just felt a deep longing, my soul needed this. So - I started a book club. And within 24 hours, 90 PEOPLE SIGNED UP. Nine - Zero. I didn’t think that was a possibility (picture me laughing and crying at the same time). I understood immediately that God was leading me here not just for me, but to create space for others.
I read in a book about trees that in the dense forests, the trees at the ground floor will grow towards the sun even though the canopy of elder trees is blocking direct view of it. The sun acts as their guide, a force that’s felt but not seen, until they’re tall enough to break through.
If I told you this is how most of my life has gone, would you believe me? My family has always told me that I’m “too trusting” when it comes to people and big decisions in life. I leap into most things without thinking twice, basing my decision off of my gut feeling, the energy I pick up in the situation, and the little safe nudges when I feel God’s hands directing me.
I believe, therefore I see.
Some of these leaps of faith have left me heartbroken and questioning everything, but I’ve found that if you can hold on long enough, you’ll eventually see that every situation, no matter how dark, has a silver lining. An opportunity to grow at the very least.
Having a strong morning ritual that includes prayer has been greatly impactful in my life. These days I’m busy (and quite distracted). If I don’t dedicate time to slow down and get quiet, the outside world can get so loud that it’s hard to hear my inner guidance. I got to candidly discuss this with Christie of MerMarché in her most recent podcast.
Grow slowly towards the sun, and remember that even when you can’t see it, it’s always there.
love,
tif
A note on MerMarché
MerMarché is a natural skincare line that I’ve come to love and trust. Christie, the founder, has been a vendor in a few Slow Markets so you might recognize her sweet soul. Her website is also home to a holistic marketplace with like-minded products and (newly launched) organic cotton dresses that I’m obsessed with.
If you’re interested in trying her skincare line, or matching me in this Valentine appropriate dress, you can use my discount code when checking out to save 15%: tifany15
xo